Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
