Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
