My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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