Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
