what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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