I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
