what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
