I think im going to throw up on grandma
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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