chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
