Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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