Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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