doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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