I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
