Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
