i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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