I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Randomize
