im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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