we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Randomize
