can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize