Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
