lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
