...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
sarcasm needs its own font
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
