I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
