He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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