They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
