I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i think i have herpe
just one?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
