He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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