Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
