i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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