And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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