My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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