You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
