Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
