these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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