Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
