Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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