While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize