just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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