Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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