Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
