i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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