we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
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We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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