I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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