I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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