HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
