theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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