what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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