I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
