I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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