I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
