VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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