He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
now i know why i became what i already was.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
