im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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