I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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