At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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