Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
