We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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