Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
