so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
