We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
